Whether you are single or long-time married, I suspect that at heart as Valentine’s Day approaches, you hope for some touch of romance to kiss your life on this day for lovers.

 Romance has many faces and flavors.  It can center on being in love; sharing an intimate bubble of attraction and interest with another, feeling special because you are special to someone.  Or, it could happen in just a moment – a co-worker or an admirer presents you with a rose or some yummy chocolate.  You flush and, in that moment, know you are beautiful and sexy. Superb!  Your Valentine’s Day was not for naught… Romance is alive!

 Yes, you may yearn for a deeply committed relationship; one that completes you and feeds your soul.  As you see those “happy couples” together, it can look like they’ve got it all.  Maybe yes, maybe no… If you’ve recently been in an unsatisfying relationship, you know about conflict and struggle even with someone you’re “crazy” about.  Could be that right now you are better off in your single status where you can rebuild your confidence and reevaluate what you want to do differently going forward.

 So here are two situations to consider: you are single and yearning to be connected or… you are in a ho-hum relationship and want to regain some spark with your partner.  These might seem like very different scenarios but here’s what they have in common.

 While we may all crave a touch of romance, on Valentine’s Day and beyond,  are we the passive recipients of admiration; waiting, hoping for some sweet attention?  That sounds too much like wishing for Valentine cards in elementary grade school.  The big question is “How can you make it happen for yourself?”

 First a quick story:  It was a chilly New Year’s Eve.  My husband and I decided to take a walk that evening through our downtown.  The party was beginning to warm up here and there out on the sidewalk.  As we rounded a corner, up ahead there was some upbeat music playing, a small crowd gathered and two people dancing.  As we got closer I realized that the man dancing was a single friend of ours.  He was beautifully dressed, moving gracefully… inviting one woman after another to dance with him.  He was bringing the party!  Lots of fun; excitement, with the opportunity to dance with a handsome man who was all about making each dance partner feel that she was part of a special moment. 

 Back to the big question: “How can you make it happen for yourself?”  How can you create an attentive experience for another or for yourself that is novel, passionate, unexpected… a moment or an evening of connection and play?  This is a stretch. Use your imagination and do something out of the ordinary.  Pick an item off your wish list or… let it be a matter of attitude – flirty, audacious, more “out there” than usual. 

 I guarantee you’ll have fun!


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